We often measure success by what we’ve accomplished. But what about the friendships we’ve built along the way? In this episode of the Perception Podcast, Tom Garrity visits with Mike Silva, founder of New Mexico’s Brotherhood Love Out Loud, about meaningful friendships and the importance of showing up for one another. It’s a conversation that focuses on helping men to build meaningful friendships, which lead to better communities.

Full Transcript

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:00:00] We often measure success by what we’ve accomplished, but what about the friendships we’ve built along the way? In this episode of the Perception Podcast, I’d like to introduce you to Mike Silva. You know Mike as founder of Rude Boy Cookies, but he also has an initiative that focuses on helping men to build meaningful friendships, and that leads to better communities. Hello and welcome to the Perception Podcast. This is Tom Garrity with the Garrity Group where we help small businesses to be heard and large organizations to be understood. On this episode, we’re going to learn more about Brotherhood Love Out Loud. The organization’s fourth annual Brotherhood LOL Social occurred in October 2026 in podcast terms that’s just last weekend. Joining me on the Perceptions Podcast is Brotherhood LOL’s founder, Mike Silva. Welcome, Mike. 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:00:58] Hey, thank you for having me Happy to be here looking forward to chatting talking about what it is to be Part of such a great organization made up of really amazing 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:01:10] Amen. You bet. Well, Mike, you and I have known each other for a number of years through your work as an entrepreneur and mainly through Rude Boy Cookies. If you could, share a little bit about your journey and how that led to the creation of Brotherhood LOL. 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:01:30] So in 2009, I actually started my first company and that was a Tor ABQ. We, my buddy, Jesse Heron, and myself started that company with the goal to show off and give folks a front row seat to Albuquerque. We, we started that and we’ve, we’re still running it. We’re enjoying, we were enjoying that business. We’ve grown a little bit and through some success with that company, I was able to start Rude Boy Cookies five years later, so 2014. And the two companies, their only connection point is me, two separate partners, but that entrepreneurship led the Albuquerque business first to reach out to me in December of 2022. And they asked me if I would be willing to give them a new year’s resolution as a local business owner. And I said, sure, I’d be happy to do that. I thought about it. I wanted to give them something meaningful, didn’t want to just kind of, you know, give them something that would be considered, you know, kind of a waste of their time. So I thought about it for a few days and got back to them with my New Year’s resolution for 2023, which was basically what started Brotherhood Love Out Loud. I resoluted to create a space for men to, uh, find a comfortable environment to be vulnerable, to find a space where they could be. Comfortable to build friendships, to build relationships. I found that as men get older the relationship building and friendship building seems to stop. So I was looking to create a space for men to find vulnerability as a strength, to find the value of male friendship and how much of a superpower that is. And the Business First article came out in January and once it printed I realized now I’ve got to do something. You know now I’ve got a I put this out in the world, let’s figure out a way to make this a reality, and Brotherhood Love Out Loud was born about a month later. Wow. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:03:32] So that’s one of those kind of you cut it out of the newspaper. Or you do a screen capture of the article, print it out, and you post it up on the wall. And it’s like you’re committed at that point, right? 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:03:46] Exactly. Yeah, I’ve gone back to it several times. I’ve been asked many times over the four years that Brotherhood Love Out Loud has been in existence, a little bit similar question of how it all started. And I just circle back to that article and how that was kind of the origin. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:04:04] So during that time, I’m sure you’ve probably had to, you know, really kind of define what Brotherhood LOL is all about. What are some of the misperceptions and or the solutions that you’ve seen work? 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:04:21] I think anytime you mention that you’re doing a gathering of men or a men’s group, I think people automatically have some type of perception about that. What does that mean? What are you all doing? Is it a bunch of men just trauma dumping on one another? Is it drum circle? Hit, you know, is it whatever the perceptions of what a men’s group is, I’ve heard them all. Um. My goal was just to create a space again where men could feel safe, men could feel comfortable, where men of all walks of life, all levels of industry, all levels of professional achievement, all social economic backgrounds, all different cultural connections and racial connections could come together and just talk, chop it up, build relationships, find strength in community. And then ultimately… Go out and impact the world, and we can best do that by being the better versions of ourselves. And in my belief in Brotherhood Love Out Loud is we help men to find the best versions of themselves. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:05:34] I think I answered your question, I hope I did. Oh, you did, absolutely. You know, my brother and I had a chance to visit one of the gatherings, I think it was earlier this year, and it was at a restaurant in Albuquerque, just north of downtown. And my brother was blown away just by how comfortable everybody was just kind of sitting around the room. And just chatting in some parts, talking about the upcoming event, which we’ll touch on here. At the time, it was an upcoming event. But yeah, he was just impressed with the level of transparency that was taking place. It wasn’t a trauma dump, as you mentioned. It was just good. And so it’s one of those things that I think sometimes you have to try it to kind of really understand what it’s about. 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:06:29] Yeah, thank you for that feedback. Um, you know, we we believe I believe and it’s through my mentor that I Approach this space in the first place And the belief is is that when you build relationships rooted in trust When you build a relationships rooted and belonging that that sense of community that comes from from that is Power is so powerful It allows you to sit among other men and just freely have conversations about anything as simple as a score of the game last night to something as serious and impactful as the impact that your stress or your financial worries are impacting your family, your business, so on and so forth. Because we’ve had those level of conversations as well, conversations about suggestions of how to deal with, you know. Some relationships that are very personal and close like marital relationships or other friend relationships, family relationships. So we really deep dive into what it is to just be honest with one another and then just kind of let the conversations go where they go. We don’t show up at those events that you and your brother came to with any agenda. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:07:46] It’s just about fellowship and community. Well, and on that topic of fellowship and community, at the time of this taping, the fourth annual Brotherhood LOL Social just wrapped up. And it was a great event. A lot of really good conversations generated as a result. Talk about what you hope to see accomplished and what you’ve just Actually, a recap of the event just to. Few days ago. 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:08:19] Yeah, so the Brotherhood Social is our annual event. It’s our big event. We do it every October. We just completed our fourth annual. Excuse me, we really excited about the fifth year because that’s a big year, so we’re looking to do some kind of fun big things for that one. But the purpose of that event is to bring men from the community who are willing to risk their comfort zone, risk their safe space to risk the warmth of their success, to actually get up on stage and storytell and share in a way that it might impact the people in the audience. So somewhat TEDx style event where we invite leaders within the community to come on stage and speak for about 20 minutes or so, 15 to 20 minutes and just share stories of what it means to be a man, what it means to. Have strong male friendships, what it means to be a mentor or to be a mentee, what It means to be a father or what it means to be a son, you know, all those things and how it shaped one’s journey to the place where they’re on the stage at that moment, sharing their story with potentially strangers in the audience. And the belief is that that connection, that impact makes us all a bit better, makes us a bit more willing to speak up. And our collective voices will have that greater impact. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:09:51] Well, and it was an honor for me to be a part of that and to kind of share some insights about the people who have stood in the gap. And I touched on both a group of friends from high school through my Young Life campaigners group, as well as Sagebrush Church men’s group, and how they really kind of stood in the gap to help. Um, me and to encourage me, but it also was a unique twist on how I was able to go back and be available to my friends as well. And so, you know, that was great for me. Cause I, I think I knew you and one other person in the audience. Uh, everybody, I’ve never met a single one of them anywhere before and stuff, but I feel like that following, you, know, I have a group of new friends, who, you know, kind of appreciate. What it means to stand in the gap. 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:10:51] Yeah, I would agree with that. Your, your talk, first of all, thank you for doing it. Uh, I’ve known you for a while now. I’ve respected you immensely. Um, it was an honor for, for, uh, the event to have you grace our stage. So thank you. And your talk definitely resonated with, with the audience. Uh, and then it came back up repeatedly after you finished the whole standing in the gap piece. And that was, that was fantastic. Uh, look forward to building on that. And carrying that forward within the group with your blessing. But yeah, it was beautiful. The feedback I received from the folks that attended was super positive and people are excited about what year five could look like. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:11:33] Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And thank you for that, by the way. I appreciate it. Authenticity was the overall umbrella. In order for people to be authentic, what would be a good next step if there’s a community leader or even somebody who is just kind of making ends meet each day. What’s a good first step that someone can make to start to build upon an existing friendship or to find a new friendship to kind of lean on and to have them rely on someone to stand in the gap for them? 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:12:22] Yeah, so for me, it all starts with oneself. Um, in order for me to be a good friend to that friend that potentially is in the struggle and needs someone to stand in the gap for them, it all starts internally, right? Like I have to be willing to do the work on myself, whatever that work is. I have be willing, to, to recognize the emotional toll. That has occurred in my lifetime. I have to be willing to take the steps to address that, heal that, talk that through, ask hard questions of people in my life or my past. I may have some answers that could be very meaningful and healing. And so for me, in order to show up at, if I were to be the best friend I can be for Tom, I need to make sure that when I’m available to Tom, I’m my best self. I can’t sit at any tables of justice with Tom and try to help Tom solve his problems or talk through whatever he has going on in his life if I’m not sitting at that table as my at least attempting best self. I don’t provide Tom with the support he truly needs because I’m still working on what it is to be my best self, not striving for perfection, just simply striving for having men. In our spaces, in our community that recognize that, you know, whatever baggage I was born with is not the responsibility of those that gave birth to me anymore. I’m a grown man. I need to take responsibility for that baggage. I need unpack that baggage and then therefore I can be better to those that I am now dealing with in my lifetime, friends, family, children, you, know, spouses, etc. So I’m a big believer that. In order to be my best self, in order to be my most authentic self, in order for all of us to reach that space of being our most authentic selves, we have to make sure we’re willing to do the work on ourselves first, unpack whatever baggage we’re carrying first, and then show up at the tables for our friends as our best and everybody wins. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:14:38] Powerful stuff, powerful stuff. I know that you also are a national speaker. And talk a little bit about how those themes have helped you to kind of go into that national speaking space. Yeah, thank you for that. Them. 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:15:02] I’m a keynote speaker, and I speak on a lot of what we’ve touched on. I speak of the super power of our vulnerability. And I encourage people to recognize what. LOL really means, right? LOL is something very common, something that everyone in the world is familiar with in this meme society and this social media driven world in which we live in. Everybody knows that LOL is to laugh out loud, right. And my belief is that oftentimes in moments of intended sincerity or moments of intentioned connection, the awkwardness that one may have because they’re uncomfortable with their own self leads them to laugh out loud awkwardly, not authentically, uncomfortably, right? And so in the spaces that I talk in and that I, you know, connect with, I’m dealing with a lot of leaders. And so I’m deal with a lots of leaders of leaders, so now we have a second LOL. And in order for leaders of leader to truly be the most impactful, to truly shape the cultures and the environments in which they are leading, in order to get the best out of the people that they’re leading, in order to advance forward whatever the mission is that that leader is leading, then that laugh out loud needs to shift so that that of leaders can comfortably and authentically love out loud. Because to me, that’s the key. To love outloud is the most important part, right? And you can only do that and have people react to it and appreciate it if it’s authentic, you know, if it is made up of vulnerable people. Shared vulnerability is one of the greatest powers in the world, right? The most resilient communities in the word are built, are made up, of people of shared vulnerability, because that’s a group of people that have relationships rooted in trust, rooted in belonging. They’ve been there. They’ve had the conversations. They can trust one another. They know that if Bobby says something to them about what their current situation is, that Bobby’s speaking from the heart and not just giving kind of a canned answer. So yeah, I speak to the power of our vulnerability and I really encourage people to, again, take a look internally, do whatever you need to do to present yourself to the world as your best self. And then let’s see how far we can get with our shared vulnerability. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:17:45] Bam, you know, I’ve I look at the questions that I have and it’s like you answered every single question that I Okay question is how can people learn more about brother to lol and or the ska speaker 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:18:05] Yeah. So, you know, my keynote speaker business, um, I go by the name, the Scott speaker. And that’s because of a love I have for a genre of music called Scott music, you know, at the core of Scott music. As I fell in love with it, two-tone Scott was built around a unity, around a connection, and I just really connected to that. So I try to carry that sense of unity and brotherhood. And camaraderie and teamwork and everything that I do. So my keynote speaker business is theSkaSpeaker.com and I’m also on all the socials under that same name, the SkaSpeakr and my Brotherhood Love Out Loud website is BrotherhoodLOL.com and also you can find Brotherhood LOL on all of the social, including LinkedIn. So yeah, we We work to make sure that, you know, we can, me hopefully as a keynote speaker, I can travel the country and impact people on a big, bigger level. And then here with Brotherhood Love Out Loud, I’m committed to this place we call home and I wanna do whatever I can to make a difference. 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:19:21] Mike Silva, Brotherhood, Love Out Loud, the Scott Speaker, and Rude Boy Cookies. We didn’t even talk about Rude boy cookies. How can you not talk about cookies? Okay, well, we have to have something for you next time, right? 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:19:34] There you go there you 

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:19:36] I like it. So yeah, any final words that you’d like to share with the audience? 

Mike Silva, Brotherhood Love Out Loud [00:19:46] No, I just, you know, maybe I would just say, um, you know, there’s so much power and there’s so much, uh, um strength that comes from our unity, you know, and I just really encourage people to, you know, There’s a lot of noise, there is a lot of chaos and like kind of the whirlwind of chaos that surrounds us every day is can be overwhelming. And I just encourage people to do their best to see through all of that and, and, find connections and through those connections, make an impact. And through that impact, we have a louder collective voice. And through the louder collective voices, we can truly, we know we can change. We can impact massive change in our communities first, and then we’ll see about the world after that.

Tom Garrity / TGG [00:20:30] This concludes the Perception podcast presented by the Garrity Group Public Relations, where we help small businesses to be heard and large organizations to be understood. For more information about our New Mexico based firm, please visit garritypr.com. Be sure to click like or share on the episode. And until next time, this is Tom Garrity. Have a nice day.